A girl's memory

Venue: Globe - At the age of 17, young Annie spends a summer as a caregiver in a holiday home for children on the northern coast of France. Far from her home village and the provincial, catholic environment of her parents' grocery store, she hopes that her dreams of a great love will be fulfilled. Her first sexual encounter with head counselor H., who is five years older, is unexpectedly violent — but Annie makes every conceivable effort to transform the experience into a passionate love affair. She counters H.'s open disinterest in her with an intoxicating attempt to satisfy her lust for him through other bodies. The result is ridicule and humiliation by their peers and H. himself, but it does not prevent them from focusing their entire being on him. Even though Annie, euphoric and celebratory, sees the summer of 1958 as the best time of her life, the attacks are immediately indiscriminate: menstrual failure and eating disorders have accompanied her for years. It was only much later, by writing “Memory,” that Ernaux recognized the events as an experience of sexual and verbal violence. “Memory of a girl” is the search for clues by Annie Ernaux, who was 76 years old at the time of publication, about her own past. Writing, she remembers the girl from back then and recognizes herself anew through the act of writing. A deep connection between female desire and the patriarchal subordination of female bodies is thus visible.