CULT HORROR STORIES from Best of the Worst - I Bought a Motorcycle That's a Vampire (1990)

He has two wheels, fangs and an unbridled appetite for blood

Nick Noddy Oddie, a motorcycle courier from Birmingham, buys a second-hand Norton Commando for priceless and brings it back to life — more literally than he might suppose. The machine avoids daylight, roams the streets on its own at night and deals with the gang responsible for the death of its previous owner and anyone who stands in its way with extreme brutality. As the number of victims begins to rise, Noddy enlists the help of a police inspector and a priest ready to carry out the exorcism. Because sometimes a simple visit to a mechanic is not enough.

“I Bought a Motorcycle That's a Vampire” is a British horror comedy in which a satanic ritual, a gang of bikers and vampiric regulars meet pub humor, practical gore effects, and a machine armed with spikes and a toothed spotlight. The film with joyful impudence pushes the boundaries of absurdity, serving up bloody chases, gruesome gags and a priest trying to exorcise a two-wheeled demon. It's hard to imagine a better Halloween screening: it's demonic, disgusting, shamelessly stupid, and hellishly funny.

Dirk Campbell's film hit British cinemas in 1990, but was not very successful at first. Over time, however, it gained the status of a cult peculiarity of British B-class cinema, and its collector's editions allowed subsequent generations of viewers to discover it. His greatest strength remains a deliberately ludicrous idea, realized in the setting of a grim, urban horror, and the performances of Neil Morrissey, Michael Elphick and Anthony Daniels as an eccentric priest fighting a motorcycle powered by human blood.